Real Deal vs Bayern Munich
The “sweet” week sixteen matchup between Bayern Munich and Real Deal was one for the ages. Both teams had notable lineup changes this week with Real loaning their clutch striker Natasha Trabulsey to the Gunners and Bayern having to manage without superstar RonalDuy for the match. However, Bayern did welcome back keeper Bradley Hughes between the pipes.
The game kicked off with a bang, both squads came out firing on all cylinders hoping to get out to an early lead. Hughes was tested early but passed with flying colours making a huge diving save on Real striker Talha the “Baller” Sarac. Bonner was equally rock solid at the other end denying several attempts from BM. Then, at about the 16′ minute mark, Dan set piece McNiece on a corner kick, sent the ball through across the goal line to a wide open Fernando “one-hit wonder” Ayala whose eyes lit up with amazement. Outside the arena the stars could be seen aligning, hell did in fact freeze over, and, if you listened very carefully, you could actually hear the fat lady singing. Ferny connected on the pass across and scored the game opener. Time seemed to stand still as Bayern celebrated. To everyone’s amazement, they performed choreographed dance with Ferny in the middle of the circle waiving his shirt in the air. He then used the ball to shoot down each teammate like a sniper, reenacting his goal over and over again. Even referee Mr. Clean clapped his hands together and said “very good goal”….After that Real Deal battled back with a few amazing chances. Former Bayern player, “Hurricane” Christine Zhu was looking to prove why she is the league rookie of the year. Metin the “Swordsman” Guler blasted a shot that was brilliantly tipped by Zhu just wide of the Bayern net. Keeper Hughes was seen wiping the sweat from his brow and quoted as saying, “Wow that was really close”. Finally the hard work would pay off as Nasim “The Supreme Dream ” would not be denied, burying a sweet goal tying the game 1-1 just before the first half whistle.
In the second half, Bayern would come out flying. “Super” Mario threw a fireball at the net scoring his dirty dozenth goal of the year. Just a few seconds later, with RD still reeling, Jeff “The Athlete” McCabe found the back of the net with a sweet finish. Minutes later Real would close the gap completing a beautiful tic-tac-toe finish from Callahan-Guler-Sarac. With the score 3-2 in the dying seconds, “The Swordsman” Guler sent the ball to Paul “Winner Take All” Callahan who hit the cross bar. “Captain” Gojmerac and “Hurricane” Christine also had amazing chances in the dying seconds but were somehow denied. Bayern hung on for the well deserved “W”. 3-2 the final score.
The Gunners vs Calaveras FC
The newly renamed Calaveras FC came into this game as the hottest team in the league winning their last three contests, while The Gunners were hoping that short-term loan Natasha “Hot Foot” Trabulsey could help them break out of their two game slump. Calaveras had their work cut out for them as they came in missing their captain Scott “Tic-Tac-Toe” Tudo, and two scoring threats in Salar “The Ship” Modarresi and Tyler “Ten Touch” Zeng. The Gunners came out attacking early with “Iron” Mike Ermakov scoring a hat trick before Calaveras keeper JF “Smackdown” Paquin could get his gloves on. The game calmed down with defences on both sides shutting down scoring chances before they could reach the net.
Calaveras was determined in the second half sending Eefay “White Fire” Wang and Derek “Cha-Ching” Chan to pressure the Gunners’ back line and keeper forcing several turnovers. But the second effort blocks by Theo “The Body” Blanchard and Ted “Big Train” Guo, as well as some shots missing the net by inches kept Calaveras scoreless. Finally the Polkowski-Ermakov-Trabulsey connection found their stride as two goals by Natasha “Hot Foot” Trabulsey found their way into the Calaveras goal and gave The Gunners a comfortable lead.
To their credit Calaveras did not give up as Chan found himself one-on-one with the Gunners’ keeper twice late in the game and made no mistake burying both goals. But it was not enough, as Theo “The Body” Blanchard scored once on a brilliant solo effort and Patrick “The Punisher” Polowski found his mark to close out the scoring. This game ended decisively in The Gunners favour, 8-2.
Wow whoever wrote this was on some really bad acid during the game lol, however I do wish it actually went down this way. I need to step up my dance moves.
A bit of insider info.. ferny has been working with cirque du soleil over this past weekend on his next anticipated goal celebration. Stay tuned!
There are only 8 weeks left in the season. I don’t think there’s enough time for Fern to get another one!
Hey Paul, I’m pretty sure I heard Ivan muttering “Natasha would have scored.”