Barons Beat Spartans!
Week 6 in the Toronto Champions League featured a Week 4 rematch between Barons FC vs Spartans FC, both currently sitting atop of the league table in 1st and 2nd respectively….. Dinner time! Spartan’s premier defender “JJ” was quoted as saying “Madness? This is Sparta!” Meanwhile, Barons’ striker Seamus “Brogue Kick” Lynott guaranteed that “a thousand shots on goal would descend upon them”. HERE WE GO, MADNESS!
The whistle blew and the battle was underway! Baron’s struck first blood with a beautiful cross from THE “Brogue Kick” to Andrew “The Winner” Winnett for the finish. Another goal from Barons would send them into half-time up 2-0. Early in the second, with Spartans pressing, Mario “Street Fighter” Vega hit the turbo button and lobbed the ball to striker Yi Nan “Freight Train” Tang, who finally found the back of the net! GOALLL. Later in the second, “Freight Train” Tang again took the ball hard to the net and steam rolled Baron’s keeper Kevin “Berlin Wall” Bonner who could only watch in horror as the ball trickled into the net. Tie game? NO!!….GOAL CALLED OFF!. “Dangerous play, no goal” said the referee…..With Spartans in desperation mode late, the vulterous Baron’s would add a third and final goal. History would once again repeat itself with the Spartans being defeated by the empire! 3-1 final score
-Paul
Renegades Get a Win!
FCber Lang’s strategy so far this season has been to tread water until star striker Alex Wong returns from a case of Newbabyitis. A match-up against the struggling Renegades was just what they needed, or so they thought. Theo “The Body” Blanchard opened the scoring by collecting a sweet lob pass and just getting a toe on the ball in order to give him the wide open net to tap it in. FCber Lang pressed late in the 1st half with a series of chances off of corner kicks but could not capitalize. Neither team had any subs at their disposal so things started to slow down considerably in the 2nd half. So slow that Scott Tudo’s shot is still just crossing the goal line after squeezing under goalie Brad “Wow I suck” Hughes. “Boomin” Dan Newman collected a goal on some defensive confusion to make it 2-1 but the Renegades held on for their 1st victory of the year. Perhaps it’s just a coincidence that Fernando wasn’t there.
-Brad
D-Mentors Keep Rollin’
Cobra Kai found themselves undermanned two games in a row with their captain still in recovery. He has been seen lifting weights, jogging around town and punching meat rocky balboa style to avoid a third missing game. luckily they had help from Andrew “the magic”, though it wasn’t enough. the game opened with another rocket from John Altinian aka golden foot. cobra kai struck back with a pass from Andrew that left 4 defenders watch metin hit the ball over brad “where did that come from” hughes. the first half finished with both teams missing chances. however in the second half things slowly turned to Altinian and Co’s advantage. cobra kai looked more and more lost out there and metinho who had come out of retirement for this game realized he should have stayed retired. their defense did the best they could against the quick feet of d-mentors, but couldnot stop another 3 goals. final whistle showed 4-1 on the scoreboard.
-Metin
Rumor has it the ladies in the stands were in tears over the lack of Fernando.
Rumour has it that Fernando likes to use the pseudonym “Papi.”
The other rumour is that Renegades won due to “addition by subtraction”.